It’s a new season and I’m dipping a toe back into the digital world to help document those in-between moments

For one reason or another the winter months are always a tough time for me when it comes to getting out there and shooting on film. Even in “sunny” Florida, this time of year can be pretty dreary which personally makes shooting in color less appealing. My preferred b&w film is Ilford FP4+ 125 because it handles the bright sunshine really well, however the intensity of light during the winter can vary wildly – sometimes decently sunny, other times super overcast. This does make loading up a roll of FP4 a bit of a gamble… guess I could switch to a higher speed film, but I’m stubborn like that?

In any case, we only get a couple months out of the year where it’s feasible to wear cold-weather clothing and it got me thinking that it would be really nice to have a small camera I could easily slip into a jacket pocket (or pants pocket the other 10.5 months). At the same time I’ve been going through old files and recognizing that there’s a big chunk of digital photos that are experimental, candid, funny, or really just anything that I wouldn’t even attempt to take on a film camera. For the record, I am not a “death before digital” type of film photographer – I’ve had my fair share of digicams, both cheapos and expensive DSLRs. They’re great!

Feeling that the time was right, I decided to find a compact digital camera that was small enough to pocket, good enough quality, not crazy expensive and had all of the control options I wanted (fully auto, manual and shutter/aperture priority modes). After narrowing down my options and checking prices online, I settled on this one:

The Canon G9X Mark II !

You can find the specs online if you’re curious but I wouldn’t be able to tell you how many megapixels it is or whether it records video in 4K, 8K, whatever. The specs I care about most are:

• It’s small
• It’s quiet
• It takes super clear photos
• It’s fun to hold and to use

So here’s the thing – this camera is seriously small! I know I was looking for one that could easily fit into a pocket, which this does, but holding it in my hands I am always surprised at just how tiny it is. One of the reviews I came across said it was about as big as a pack of playing cards…

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Recollections around working the overnight shift and some of the characters I’d encounter…

Have you ever found yourself out and about really late at night? I mean reeeeally late, say 3:00 or 4:00 am? There’s a certain atmosphere to the outside world when you’re navigating it during those overnight hours – the streets are empty, stores are mostly closed, everything is dark and everyone is sleeping. It looks different, it feels different. Heading into a 24-hour establishment is a little odd too. What are any of us doing here at this hour? By all rights we shouldn’t even be here.

Twice in my life I found myself working the graveyard shift at Walgreens, the retail drugstore chain, and with plenty of hindsight (this was 20 years ago!) I can safely say it was an interesting experience. Working overnights is definitely not for everyone, but if you have a natural tendency to stay up at all hours of the night and can deal with the fact that your working “day” will be both mind-numbingly boring and also super freaking weird then maybe it’s for you.

There are, of course, pros and cons to working 3rd shift, especially when it comes to your level of social interaction with the world. If you’re an introvert like me, then you’ll likely enjoy being able to put in your 8 hours without having to interact with the normal amount of people you would average during the daytime. Sweet!

However, not only will socializing at a reasonable hour with your friends and family become increasingly difficult, but you may also tend to fill that void with your coworkers and the types of customers that you’ll encounter. I have to say that the most interesting and oddball customers I ever dealt with in that near-decade of working retail came through when the rest of the world was fast asleep. Drunks, weirdos, those who are lost and wandering, people who you can tell take no joy in being awake at that time and those who are completely accustomed to it. Most of the time, there’s a reason they’re up and shopping at that hour and it’s not because they’re super well-adjusted by societal standards…

Two such patrons stand out in my mind and if you’re up for it I’ll tell a few little anecdotes about them.

 

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New Zine Alert! Happy to announce that my latest zine, titled “Analog Transmissions”, is officially out now!  You can grab a copy from this link.

There are a few things I wanted to say about this zine while I have your attention.

My 2nd zine, Fragments of Another Life (still available, btw!) was my attempt at getting a bit deeper and more personal. For 2024, I wiped the board clean and decided to come up with something a little lighter.

Analog Transmissions is a short series of photos where the vantage point of the photo is clearly within a car. A remarkably high percentage of my photographs are actually taken from the driver’s seat of my car; however, the vast majority try to obscure that fact. Well, these don’t. I liked the idea of making a zine about cars that doesn’t have much to do with cars at all (aside from, y’know, being in one).

This is a shorter zine than my earlier ones, and in a new size format as well. Think of it like an EP between full-length albums. No grand artistic statement, it’s simply photos in cars that I happen to like.  Thanks everyone.

that feeling of traveling back to a place you’ve been to in your past and seeing it again with current eyes.

i went to one of the malls in town today and it was a sight to behold. not closed to the public but it’s effectively abandoned. mind you, this is a weekend in january after xmas, a time when (back in the heyday) the mall would be absolutely buzzing with activity. instead, it appears the only cars in the massive parking lot surrounding the mall are from the employees working at whatever stores are left. otherwise it was absolutely deserted. a “ghost town”, as isaac brock astutely predicted. totally bonkers.

the anchor stores – dillards and jc penney – both had their entrances closed off. meanwhile the entrance that leads into the food court had a smattering of cars parked out front – something that would have been unbelieveable back in the day, as it was difficult to even find a spot to park near there. we’d have to park way in the back or around the corner only to hike it back to the main doors.

the amc movie theater logo is still on the side of the building but i can’t be sure they’re still open. all of the metal signs showcasing movie posters have been taken down, leaving a row of dark spots on the wall where the sun hadn’t bleached it through years of exposure. the benches out front, which used to be full of kids waiting for their parents to pick them up, sit empty and in disrepair.

it’s hard to reconcile this with the scenes i experienced back in the late 90’s/early 2000’s. this particular mall was a packed affair, where wild herds of teens would roam in a quest to hang out and be seen, and families would go to shop and be entertained (and even get some grub at the food court). i spent many an afternoon going there with my friends to see what we could find, went on a few dates at the movie theater, that kind of thing. at the time, i hated the mall and the consumerism it stood for, as well as that feeling of being one of the crowd of teens that i didn’t want to be associated with. but time has given me nostalgia for malls, whether it’s because they’re slowly dying out or because i just miss that period of america’s history (as well as my own).

there was an optimism to malls that’s been replaced with dejection for what once was – they were the place you’d go to find shit you couldn’t get elsewhere. it was the place you’d head to when you wanted to spend time with people you cared about and had nothing else to do and nowhere to go. those nothing moments were actually everything.

I’ve always had a weird relationship with Walt Disney World, having grown up here in Orlando and being surrounded by theme park business in so many facets of life.  Nearly everyone in my family has, at some point, worked for Disney and I couldn’t tell you how many times we went to the parks.  Yeah, I’ve been in the tunnel.  The rides were cool and it was fun stuff for a kid, but as I entered my teens my attitude shifted and suddenly the Mouse was lame.  Corporations suck, right?!

Sooner or later every resident of Central Florida has to admit that tourism is the lifeblood of the area, and we would still be some backwater orange grove without Walt Disney.  For me, I moved past the teenaged angst and have come to accept, but not love, That Part of town.  There are parts of the parks and resorts that are intensely nostalgic to me, and even though the area is in a constant state of updates, changes, demolitions and upgrades, many of those locations are still intact.

This week I’ve been afforded the gift of FREE TIME, and have chose to spend it by driving around the WDW resort property.  It’s amazing how much there really is to take in behind the scenes.  This all began when I randomly saw a post about the STOLPort on Disney property.  Short story is that there used to be an airplane landing strip so that private planes could land at Disney instead of the Orlando Airport.  The rumors have been around forever but I never actually knew where it was supposed to be.  Thanks to the post online, I saw a photo of the runway in all it’s former glory and realized that I knew exactly where it was!  Thus I decided to head over there and check it out.

What I found in the present day is an old strip of road that is being used as a dumping group for all kinds of mechanical equipment and supplies.  Tractor trailers, piles of metal, construction equipment, trash bins and dumpsters, broken down trucks, you name it.  A little underwhelming to be honest, but it’s a fun piece of Disney history.

All this brings me to the fact that I’ve got one roll of film in my camera that I’ve been using as an experiment – a roll of Kodak Ultramax 400, being redscaled.  This is new to me and I’ve never tried it before, but thanks to a post from a friend online I learned that redscaling is the process of taking your roll of color film and flipping it so that you’re exposing the back of the film first.  Essentially hitting the different layers of film in reverse order so that the color shifts to various shades of red, orange and pink.

I brought this roll with me to see what interesting stuff I could find in the back roads and employee-only areas of Disney  that are actually accessible to any ol’ tourist in their car.  Spent a bunch of time looking at Google Maps to refresh my memory on what’s out there.  Found some old stuff that rekindled fond memories, plus discovered new things that will be fun to go explore at a later date.

The good news is that I just finished up the roll earlier today, I can’t wait to get it developed and see what comes out!  There’s plenty more out there to snap some photos of.

 

Been enjoying my break from the photography side of social media. I’ll pop onto my photo account every few days just to check my messages but other than that it’s been out of my daily routine.

Despite checking out of social media and not really shooting much film, I’ve still been connected to the photography world, by way of ordering photobooks and zines! Just a few of the many publications I’ve received lately:

– Death Metal Summer, Ed and Deanna Templeton
– Night Timin’, Domino Film Press
– Learning to See Square, James Holland
– America and Other Myths, Robert Frank and Todd Webb
– William Eggleston’s Guide
– 1949 Days, Leo Robledo
– Diane Arbus: An Aperture Monograph
– The Unseen Saul Leiter

As you can see, a big mix of different styles and eras. Hard to pick a favorite, but I’m always partial to Ed Templeton’s work. The Unseen Saul Leiter was one I purchased without being familiar with his work and it truly impressed me with how simple yet wonderful his photographs were. On the other hand, I was severely underwhelmed by William Eggleston’s book.

Since I’m not actually out photographing anything nor am I posting anything on Instagram, I’ve turned some attention to creating a new zine of my own. The title came to me first and I’ve been building a narrative around the concept. Those 3 rolls of film I mentioned earlier? A lot of those images were gonna be in this zine… *sigh*

One thing I am learning by looking through the publications above is that oftentimes that old adage is true – “less is more”. My previous two zines clocked in at 32 and 36 pages each, but I started thinking of really expanding the page count and switching to “perfect” binding. Well, one day I was able to hold a physical copy of a zine that fit the description of what I envisioned and what I realized is that it didn’t actually quite work for me. Sometimes what you think is best turns out to be something different in reality.

So back to the drawing board (in this case, culling lots of pics I would have otherwise used). Still having fun with the creative process though!

Welp.  It’s been over two months since my film was lost in the mail and USPS has still not recovered it.  While I’ve come to terms with losing those photos, I’ve still not loaded up a new roll of film since then.

Experimented with taking my digital camera around instead and, perhaps not surprisingly, the results are mixed.  While yes it’s nice to have all the modern features of a digital camera, I’m still not entirely happy with the resulting images.  I suppose I could take them into Lightroom or Photoshop and play around with everything to try emulating film as best I could, but it seems more trouble than it’s worth.

So this is me – still working on finding a path in photography that I’m happy with.   I’ve also declared that I’m taking a break from Instagram and in the meantime have actually turned my attention to my own archive.

Calling it an archive makes it seem cooler than it is – really just a huge assortment of JPGs scattered over multiple hard drives, USB sticks, burned CD’s, memory cards, you name it…  Completely unorganized and, unfortunately, not well tended-to.  There are large gaps where months or years worth of photos should be and I’ve run out of places to look for them.  Lost to the sands of time, a bit like the 3 rolls of film I lost this year (except, y’know, I did get to see them at the time).

To my great surprise I was able to find pictures going back over 20 years ago, from my very first digital camera – the Sony DSC-P30!

This 1.3 megapixel wonder was really a solid camera for the time and I absolutely loved using it.  In fact, I’ve bought one off of eBay for like $20.  It actually works pretty well!  Taking it around the past few days has been fun and I’ll add some sample photos (both current and past) behind the jump:

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Recently I sent off three rolls of color film to be developed, but they’ve been lost in the mail.  This whole situation has prompted me to rethink my relationship with shooting film. This is not to suggest I abandon film altogether, but to be honest my enthusiasm for the hobby is at an all-time low.

The loss of those 3 rolls hits hard – I’d been in a slump for the past 4 – 5 months but the “12 Months on Film” challenge sparked me to get off my butt and take some freaking pictures. The creative juice was back and there were some shots on those rolls I was really looking forward to, especially ones of my kids. But they’re gone.

Meanwhile I have a Fuji XT1 sitting on the shelf collecting dust. It’s digital, yeah, but also a great camera. I loved using it. The pictures are great. It’s got all the features I need.

But best of all, whatever photos I take with it won’t get lost in the mail.

“You should develop your own photos at home!“, I hear you say. Well, I do for black and white (most of my output). I don’t shoot color often enough to make it worthwhile to do myself, hence sending these out to a lab. Regardless, let’s be honest, it’s still tedious. Also, despite being cheaper, there is still a cost to home development in both time and materials.

“That’s a lot of complaining“, you’re getting ready to tell me. Why shoot film then? Good question.

Listen. As a film community, we give digital a lot of grief. You can’t deny that. There’s a certain level of smugness when a film shooter compares themselves to a digital shooter.

Honestly, why?

We love the craft. The magic of physical media and the hands-on process to get our images.  We love how it’s more difficult overall to shoot on film for any number of reasons – the limitations, the process, the expense, the dedication needed. For those who shoot 100% manual, without a light meter, on a rangefinder, 1/30 with no tripod, in the freezing cold, uphill both ways, yeah it’s harder. We can compare our STRUGGLE to get the right shots with the relative EASE of using digital all day long.

How many times have you seen someone post on IG, anxious about whether it’s OK that they shot something digitally? As if they’ll lose followers for doing so (and they very well might).  How many accounts do you see that say “FILM ONLY”, as if digital photogs should be relegated to the lower decks of the ship with the other undesirables?

For those who weren’t around during film’s heyday, it might be easy to forget just how awesome digital cameras made photography when they arrived. My first digital was a 1.3 megapixel Sony and it was INCREDIBLE to snap a picture and see it instantly. My photography skills soared when I got that immediate feedback. I took way more chances, I experimented more, I took more pictures and captured more things than I ever would have if I were still worried about running out of film.

But at the end of the day, a good photo is a good photo. I can’t tell you how many shitty photos I’ve seen on digital. I also can’t tell you how many god awful photos I’ve seen on film. Though for some reason there’s a segment of the community that will praise any analog photo simply due to the medium. Let’s not even mention digital photos that are altered to look like film (you know people are doing this – Lightroom presets, film simulations, fake borders).

What am I getting at here?

I’m not loaded with cash, and I prefer to be able to keep (and eventually display) my photos without worrying if they will become lost either due to my own error or some external force (thanks USPS). How many of us have gotten a blank roll because something went wrong during the loading process? How about camera malfunctions? Light leaks? Opening the camera back too early?  Issues during development?  Did I tell you all about the time I ruined a whole roll of film because I accidentally put the fixer in before the developer? It’s heart breaking!

I love shooting film. It’s how I started back in the 90’s and it feels like something I’m supposed to be doing. The process brings me a lot of joy and fulfillment, but honestly people… I can’t afford to buy film, and chemicals, and developing for the rest of my life. I can’t afford to lose my photos for stupid reasons. So I’m thinking of taking the XT1 out more often and leaving the 35mm home for a bit. We’ll see how it goes.

New zine just dropped – “Fragments of Another Life”. This zine chronicles the years 2000 – 2004, a period of time in my life that was full of both fun and failure.

All photos shot on film during the 35mm heyday. Most of the photos were probably developed by me when I ran the One Hour photolab!

Head on over to the zines page for more info, or shoot me an email at christian[at]forcedreaction.org

Hey everyone, do you remember photo labs? Believe it or not, I used to work in one:

me, circa ~2001I’ve had this idea percolating in my head for a while that I want to document what it was like to be a lab tech back in the film days, before digital took over the whole game.

Were you, or someone you know, a lab tech back then? Are you a lab tech now? If so, please reach out to me!

Send me an email at christian[at]forcedreaction.org