that feeling of traveling back to a place you’ve been to in your past and seeing it again with current eyes.

i went to one of the malls in town today and it was a sight to behold. not closed to the public but it’s effectively abandoned. mind you, this is a weekend in january after xmas, a time when (back in the heyday) the mall would be absolutely buzzing with activity. instead, it appears the only cars in the massive parking lot surrounding the mall are from the employees working at whatever stores are left. otherwise it was absolutely deserted. a “ghost town”, as isaac brock astutely predicted. totally bonkers.

the anchor stores – dillards and jc penney – both had their entrances closed off. meanwhile the entrance that leads into the food court had a smattering of cars parked out front – something that would have been unbelieveable back in the day, as it was difficult to even find a spot to park near there. we’d have to park way in the back or around the corner only to hike it back to the main doors.

the amc movie theater logo is still on the side of the building but i can’t be sure they’re still open. all of the metal signs showcasing movie posters have been taken down, leaving a row of dark spots on the wall where the sun hadn’t bleached it through years of exposure. the benches out front, which used to be full of kids waiting for their parents to pick them up, sit empty and in disrepair.

it’s hard to reconcile this with the scenes i experienced back in the late 90’s/early 2000’s. this particular mall was a packed affair, where wild herds of teens would roam in a quest to hang out and be seen, and families would go to shop and be entertained (and even get some grub at the food court). i spent many an afternoon going there with my friends to see what we could find, went on a few dates at the movie theater, that kind of thing. at the time, i hated the mall and the consumerism it stood for, as well as that feeling of being one of the crowd of teens that i didn’t want to be associated with. but time has given me nostalgia for malls, whether it’s because they’re slowly dying out or because i just miss that period of america’s history (as well as my own).

there was an optimism to malls that’s been replaced with dejection for what once was – they were the place you’d go to find shit you couldn’t get elsewhere. it was the place you’d head to when you wanted to spend time with people you cared about and had nothing else to do and nowhere to go. those nothing moments were actually everything.